That did not happen. My views on sex may be changing slightly now that I find myself over 40 and still unmarried. I still believe that the Bible is clear that sex if for marriage only. I am not going to sit here and try to explain away biblical passages that tell readers sex is for marriage only, as I saw one 25 year old, liberal Christian female do on her blog.
The Bible is pretty clear about the topic. In the past few years, I have watched many, many Christian television programs where people are interviewed about their struggles in life, and how they believe God helped them with that struggle or delivered them from it. Many of these people I am speaking of are Christian women who were very promiscuous in their 20s and some into their 30s.
Some worked at strip clubs, appeared in X-rated films, and some literally worked as prostitutes. Some of these women were Christians they had accepted Christ in childhood but had drifted away during their teen years. Some did not convert to Christianity until their 30s or later. Here I am, a godly Christian woman in her early 40s who has not slept around, have not appeared in dirty movies, or worked as a prostitute or in a strip club, and I cannot even so much as get a boyfriend I was engaged years ago but the relationship did not work out.
I do not think it wise for women to sleep around with just anyone at any time. If a woman is going to be sexually active outside of marriage, I think she needs to use a lot of wisdom and caution. The older I get, I am not seeing the overall benefit, or reward in, remaining abstinent or chaste, or celibate, or whatever term one wishes to use. I note this anti-masturbation position is almost always spouted off by 40 or 50 year old married guys, or 40 year old married women bloggers, all of whom have two or three kids, who have been having sex for years.
The older I get, it just seems so ridiculous to tell 35, 40, 45, and 50 year old people to remain celibate. Sure, her marriage was strained by her indiscretion for awhile, but in the long run, everything worked out peachy keen for her. She apparently did not pay any sort of price for her sexual sin. So what exactly is my incentive for remaining celibate? I see next to none, outside the obvious such as not getting sexually transmitted diseases, for example. First, thank you for your honesty in writing this post. As a fellow 40 something female, I understand your pain.
I have asked many of the same questions. However, I must also agree with a. It is difficult to hear testimonies from people, who seem to get everything we have always wanted, even though they definitely walked the wrong path. I will point out a few things that I thought about as I read your comments.
9 thoughts on “Older Christian Singles and Celibacy (There Are No Consequences for Sexual Sin)”
Who knows if they really told the whole story. Perhaps if you talked with someone who had sinned sexually and was eventually restored and then, rewarded, if they were completely vulnerable, they would tell you about the emptiness and pain they experienced during their disobedience.
I am sure that there are consequences for their choices, the rebuilding of trust being one of them. For me, as I grow older and am still unmarried , I have to decide who I trust more, man or God. I am sorry for your struggles and the loss you have experienced. I also have lost a brother and a mother too soon, and I miss both of them every day.
But, I must look to Jesus for my hope. He understands heartache and pain, and He cries with us. I pray that God will comfort you and give you peace. Yet people like me who have abstaining forever I will be 27 soon get no healing for non sexual diseases such as vitiligo and hypothyroidism after praying nearly everyday.
Where is the logic in this? You should be happy for them I am, but I am not blind to the unfairness of people breaking the rules and then being rewarded anyways and those who obey are met with indifference by the powerful god. He is testing you. Before we talk about how your dating approach should change, I think it is wise to first talk about what should not change. Whether you are a Christian single who wants to be married and you are 19 or you are 65, your motives for marriage and your commitment to biblical morality should be the same.
As long as your motives for marriage are to glorify God , then your desire for marriage his healthy and biblical. Not only should your motive for marriage always be pure, your commitment to honoring God with your morality must also never waver no matter how old or young you are.
The clear commands in Scripture are not given to older or younger Christians.
How Should Your Christian Dating Approach Change the Older You Get?
The commands to not have premarital sex 1 Corinthians 7: So the inner motives and obedience to God should always be the same. Your practical approach to Christian dating should be altered with your age and spiritual maturity if you hope to see the best results as possible.
I believe one of the biggest differences in your dating approach that should change as you get older is the time you allow relationships to develop. Rather, you should focus on developing all the other social circles in your life as these other areas of your life are often the way you will meet your spouse. Going to small group with people your age, going to college, hanging out with other Christian friends, and joining other young adults in service projects are very common ways that God ends up brining to Christians together.
While the above approach certainly would not be a sin to do if you were getting older, I do believe that is wise to more proactive and intentional about meeting people the older you get. Usually you will just meet someone naturally though when you are normal, socially active Christian single.
This is more a copout than a piece of advice. The statement is legitimate, yes. Jesus must be the center of a relationship. Your love for him must be significantly greater than your love for any other person.
8 Terrible Pieces of Dating Advice Christians Give – Frank Powell
I need to be careful here. I believe strongly in intentional dating. I also believe strongly in Christians dating Christians more on this later. Not to mention having this cloud hovering over any relationship adds unnecessary pressure to it. Dating should be fun. It should be pure. These relationships can teach you something about yourself that prepares you for the one you will one day marry.
This goes for dating as well.
It is better to remain single for a lifetime than compromise values just to marry. It never ends well for people who do this. Those who have a high standard in a spouse will have a high standard in marriage. Having a high standard for marriage is an important value for having a great marriage.
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And God desires couples to have great marriages. It is worth waiting months or years to find the person who meets the standards you believe are essential.
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So, if you hear someone telling you to stop being so picky, be sure the advice is bad. It is better to remain single for a lifetime than compromise your values just to marry. There are certain non-negotiable filters in dating. Christian dating can be a field day for Satan. He uses dating like he uses everything inherently good…To spread lies and destroy your life.
For this reason, date someone who shares your values. Shares your passion for Jesus. Shares your desire for purity. The Bible never talks about dating. But Christians should work with you to pursue the holiness God desires. You know who makes statements like this one?